but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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