i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
