I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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