I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
