You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
