covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
