There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
