that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
