He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
