We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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