Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
