At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
