She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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