i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
