Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
