Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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