I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
whose parrot is this?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
