What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.