Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick