Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
and you fell through a lawn chair
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."