Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.

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(843): I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's. http://tfl.nu/1kcz

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(425): View more from Washington

i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

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(425): i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant http://tfl.nu/up0m

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(201): View more from New Jersey

somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

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(201): somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors. http://tfl.nu/tdd7

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(214): View more from Texas

decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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(214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5

Replies (31) Good night (9437) Bad night (942)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

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(719): I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today" http://tfl.nu/2j14

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(613): View more from Ontario

Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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(613): Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground. http://tfl.nu/deou

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(217): View more from Illinois

Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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(217): Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with. http://tfl.nu/6u23

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking

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(443): Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking http://tfl.nu/hur0

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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(978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?

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(704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night? http://tfl.nu/zhm8

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long

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(412): My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long http://tfl.nu/fuyb

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(520): View more from Arizona

Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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(520): Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago? http://tfl.nu/8k0d

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years

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(262): All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years http://tfl.nu/lv0h

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(518): View more from New York

I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..

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(518): I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls.. http://tfl.nu/o5go

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