Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.