So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
