Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
