I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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