Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
