you would pick up someone in the library
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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