I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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