she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
