I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
