How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
