Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
