Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
