Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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