32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
