Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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