why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
