Did you just see the Batmobile???
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
