Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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