RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
