can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
