At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
