My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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