i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
