make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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