I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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