I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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