So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
