Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
