***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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