Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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