yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize