NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
