something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
