So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
