He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
