I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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