I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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