Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
