period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
