If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
