you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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