I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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